Recognizing an addictive personality

Most people know that they have an addictive personality if they have a tendency to take comfort from over-indulging in things like eating, exercising, television, the internet, sex, or any other enjoyable human activity that everyone does. So, I am not saying if you get comfort in curling up with a snack and watching television that you have an addictive personality. What I am saying, however, is that it is the moderation and control in these common activities that set people apart. Once you become used to abusing the regular comforts of life, that is when people tend to shift towards other ways to satisfy their compulsive behaviors.

When I was 13 I was a chubby kid who used food to create a level of comfort for myself. Thirteen is when I also began smoking cigarettes regularly. I don’t know why or what made me seek out and take that first puff, but what I do know is two things hit me the instant I did. The first is that I loved cigarettes. I loved everything about them, how they made me feel, look, and the calming effect it had on my nerves. The second is that I had realized that I had an increasing dependence on things that people over-do. Cigarettes would soon lead me directly to drug use.

I didn’t care that drugs were bad, I just wanted to feel something other than the awkwardness of being a young teen. I thought “well I will just use this for these temporary feelings,” and so I thought I would have a temporary habit. When you use substances as a crutch to cope with life, love, or the problems that come with them, than you directly put off developing the healthy normal coping mechanisms someone without drugs would create. I believe that time spent in addiction stops emotional growth, or at least slows it down tremendously.

I was nineteen when I stopped using. I felt as if I were still only fourteen emotionally. I could not deal with the problems of life. Drugs caused large problems in my personal life right before I got clean, and ironically left me without the emotional tools to deal with them. If your reading this and are in early recovery, I’m telling you I know how hard it is to realize that and still stop using. You feel as if you got yourself into a pickle that’s spiraling out of your hands, and now you’re destined to rely on drugs forever. This is severely not true, it just takes having faith in yourself and getting to a point where you can actually realize it.

Please tell someone if you recognize that you have had or do have issues controlling yourself with certain behaviors or substances. If you realize that you are being controlled by a behavior or substance than you have already begun the road to resolution. See it through to the end!